AOSQ
by phantomavatar08
Summary: When someone needs some assistance with planning something important, she realizes her recruits may not be as helpful as she'd hoped.


"_If I gave a soft goodnight,_

_You would be the one to hear my call._

_If I tried to take flight,_

_You would be the one to break my fall_..."

After a pause that seemed to stretch just past the point of what he assumed would be considered 'pregnant', the boy looked up from the birds currently launching across the screen of his mother's smart phone. He was met with an expectant, emerald gaze being shifted between him and his brunette booth partner.

"So...?" egged the blonde, looking from her best friend to her son and, back again.

The brunette raised a perfectly arched eyebrow, "So...what, hun?" she asked, throwing in one of her well practiced 'Internally Screaming' waitress smiles.

"So, what did you guys think?" she asked a little louder than intended, as her expectation finally gave way to exasperation.

Lifting an eyebrow of his own, the boy threw her a look she was all too familiar with; although it as normally spread across slightly darker, more elegant features. She knew nothing good was to follow.

"You want to hear our opinion on your introduction?" _Boom_, she thought. There it was, rearing its nasty little head: condescension. As unintentional as she had always been assured it was, its fleeting appearance was still glaring. Most people traded in understood 'yous' at the beginning of their sentences; her family preferred understood 'SERIOUSLY?!s' at the end of theirs.

The blonde sighed, taking in a deep breath and holding it in while pinching the bridge of her nose. She then proceeded to release it in the form of a forlorn raspberry while throwing her arms in the air, effectively sending the napkin-inscribed with the words she'd recited-flying across the table to land in front of her friend's guest-check book.

Having picked up a bit of her lover's flair for the dramatic, she slumped down in her seat, let her head loll from side to side, and let it fall on the back rest. However, lacking any of her inspiration's regal grace, she ended up catching the hard edge instead. With a spot-inducing and resounding thud, she was reminded that after having slumped down in her seat, the backrest was left higher in relation to her-now throbbing-head.

A look of utter consternation played across the boy's face at the woman's antics and-not for first time-he wondered just how different his life would have been had he grown up with _that_ as his primary example for behavioral norms.

The waitress took this time to reach out and pick up the discarded piece of paper. Giving it a critical look over, she gingerly placed it back on the table as she steepled her fingers and, leaning forward in the booth, she rested her chin on them. The brunette furrowed her brow and pursed her lips as she contemplated her next move. With one last, brief glance down at the napkin, she dropped her hands flat on the table and smiled at the blonde currently rubbing at the back of her head.

"Well, my dearest friend," she began, "I do have to commend you on bringing a whole new meaning to the term 'Slam-Poetry'." The chuckle she'd been biting back finally came tumbling out at the look of sheer indignation on the injured Sheriff's face.

The offense only seemed to grow, as her best friend was joined by her own son in mocking her. "That's real nice of you guys. Your maturity and encouragement really are making this entire process just that. Much. More. _Enjoyable._" she stated, practically grinding the last word out.

As the last few bouts of the giggles wore off, the eleven-year old suddenly felt guilty over belittling his mom's anguish. What she was trying to do really was no easy feat and he admired that she was truly making an effort to make everything perfect, instead of just taking the easy way out. He took a deep breath, and released a sigh not unlike the one the Sheriff had let out earlier.

Elbowing the woman beside him in hopes of jarring her out or her snickering as well, he then turned to face his mom with such a look of understanding in his eyes she momentarily forgot why she had been upset with him just seconds before. The blonde felt a soft smile tugging at the corners of her mouth, as a calming feeling spread throughout her from within when he began to speak.

"I'm sorry, ma. I know this hasn't been easy for you and that you're really putting your all into making this a wondrous and truly magical occasion." Her smile broadened at the sincerity in his words…and then left her face without so much as a trace when he continued. "But, I just don't think that,"-here he pointed at the crumpled napkin-"is strategically going to be the best tactic to achieve the objective, Chief."

"Just, great." she grumbled, turning to look out at the other patrons in the diner. "I am right back where I started." She let her head fall. Forward, this time, ever mindful of the still-throbbing lump on the back. "This meeting of A.O.S.Q has officially been a huge bust." she mumbled against her chest.

Placing her hands over her friend's to regain her attention; the waitress tilted her head to the side and gave her a sympathetic look. "If all else fails, you can always express your intentions through that beautiful, age-old allegory…"

Emerald eyes widened as the Sheriff eagerly leaned forward and asked her friend hopefully, "Which one?"

In her desperate state, she failed to notice the mischievous spark in the taller woman's eyes as she grinned and said, "Oh, you know the one. Here, I'll recite it for you and you can write if down."

Never one to think twice, the blonde quickly snatched up the pen and order pad that were offered. Flipping to a clean sheet, she pushed an unruly golden curl behind her ear. When she furrowed her brow and began chewing on her bottom lip, the waitress elbowed the youngest member of their operation.

His eyes shot up from the game he had gone back to during after providing his opinion. There was a flash of disbelief as he assumed it had been payback for earlier, but it was quickly replaced by understanding when she pointed at his phone and then at his mom. He snapped the picture quickly, and managed to put the phone back down just as his mom glanced up and announced she was ready.

"Right," said the brunette. She allowed a look that was obviously supposed evoke romanticism, wash over her face. To the awaiting Sheriff she looked ready to recite Shakespeare. Once she was sure she had the blonde eating out of the palm her hand, she began.

"Before I met you," she recited the words slowly and paused long enough to make sure the other woman was keeping up.

"Okay. Before, I met you. Got it."

"The sun,"

"The sun, uh-huh."

"Was like,"

"Was like. Yup, keep going."

"Pay close attention now, we're getting to the crux of the piece."

Blonde curls went everywhere as the head they were attached to, was nodded vigorously in response.

"A yellow..." She couldn't keep the smirk of out of her voice, let alone of her face, as she finished in a grandiose manner. "Grape."

"A. Yellow. Gra-" As realization hit her, she turned blazing green eyes on the woman before her. "Damn it, Ruby!" she exclaimed as she threw the pen at the girl.

"I"m sorry, Ems." she said between bouts of laughter, "I couldn't help myself; it was just too easy."

Narrowing her eyes, Emma threw her best fake smile, "You know, sometimes you can be a real-" remembering Henry was till with them in the booth she decided to censor herself, "She-wolf."

Once Ruby had finally stopped laughing, and the blonde had managed to exhaust her ability to glare for the day, Emma looked at her own phone. "Alright, kid. Time to take that thing back to your mother before she calls down to the station to set up a manhunt for it and realizes, I'm not there." she said pointing at the smart phone still in Henry's grasp.

He nodded his understanding, but when the women made to leave the booth he objected. "Whoa, wait! We can't leave yet."

Confused, Emma asked, "What? Why not?"

Henry looked from his mom to whom he now considered his aunt. "Guys, come on! How many times do I have tell you? We can't leave a meeting without, you know, doing the thing."

"Awe, come on Henry," whined the Sheriff, who was looking every bit the part of the petulant child. "Not the thing." she pleaded.

Red slid back into the booth and said, "Oh come on now, the thing is cute."

Sitting up on his knees and leaning to reach towards the middle of table, Henry clarified "It's not cute, it's cool. And mandatory at the end of every meeting," His tone left no room for question; he was every bit the Mayor's son.

Failing miserably at holding back an eyeroll, the blonde too retook her seat in the booth. "Alight, already. Let's get this over with, before I get caught on another unapproved break." she grumbled, reaching her hand to meet Henry's in the middle of the table. Once Ruby placed her hand on top of theirs, they all leaned in and Henry gave his mom a nod to signify she could begin.

"So, this meeting was, good, I guess." she said, her brow furrowing slightly as she thought of things to say. "I mean it was still majorly unproductive in regards to getting us any closer to our objective but, at least we didn't encounter any major setbacks like, I don't know, almost getting caught or something." she finished lamely while she waved her hand dismissively. When she made to retract her hand from the sandwich it was currently in, Henry spoke out again.

"No, ma. You have to close it right." he pleaded.

"Fine!" she whispered loudly. Taking a deep breath, deadpanned the question "Who are we?"

Both Henry and Ruby answered in unison, "The Agents of Operation: Swan Queen."

"And what's our objective?"

"To keep you from putting your foot in your mouth." Ruby deadpanned back, and earned herself a stern 'Aunt Ruby' from the boy.

"Guys, come one, we have to speed this up. I can not afford to end up on the Mayor's bad side for any reason right now. So, what's our objective?"

"To provide you, Emma Swan, with the all the necessary assistance to bring about the perfect proposal." they chorused in response.

"Perfect!" exclaimed Emma as she practically flew out her seat, "A.O.S.Q meeting adjourned, now let's go!"

As they were making their way to the diner's exit, Ruby sidled up to her best friend and whispered, "You are aware this all your own fault, right?"

Emma stopped briefly to retrieve her Sheriff's jacket and asked, "How so?" as she slipped it on.

"Because, Emma Swan," she began as she held open the door for the duo, "Only you would have the brilliant idea of trying to plan the perfect setting in which to ask a woman, once known as the Evil Queen, for her hand in marriage."

Pulling out the keys to the new cruiser, she simply replied "Damn straight."


End file.
